Looking Back

During our past 8 weeks we have forged a collaborative learning community, shared information and insights as well as supported each other. As I prepare to move on into my specialization I would like to take a minute and thank all my colleagues for the support, encouragement, and sharing on great ideas and personal stories. I wish blessings on each of you as you continue on your professional path. It has been a pleasure networking with all of you

Adjourning Stage

In the "adjourning" stage the project is coming to an end and the team members are moving off into different directions. This stage looks at the team from the perspective of the well-being of the team rather than from the perspective of managing a team through the original four stages of team growth. The hardest thing about saying good-bye in the group project I participated in was saying good-bye to my co-workers. We work from home throughout the state so we look forward to seeing each other when we have to meet for trainings and meetings. Yes, in my experience high-performing groups are harder to leave because you can accomplish so much within the group, gather great ideas from the group members, and share your ideas as well. There is a greater sense of accomplishment and everyone feels as respected as contributors. Closing rituals I’ve experienced is all the ladies have dinner together the night before our last day of meetings, on the day we depart we all hug each other and wish each other safe travels back home. I imagine that I will adjourn from the group of colleagues I have formed while working on my master’s degree in this program with a wealth of resources and great networking opportunities. Adjourning is such an essential stage of teamwork because it allows the team the chance to reflect on the project, determining what actions were productive as well as unproductive and find ways for resolution.

 

 

 

Conflict experience

I don’t associate with many people and I avoid conflict at all times with the few people I do associate with because with all the responsibilities I have, there is just no room for confrontations and disagreements. The one incident I can remember which involved conflict happened last year at a local Chinese restaurant. The waitress was upset that my guests and I remained too long at our table after eating. It was strange behavior on her part because this is an all you can eat buffet which means if I wanted to eat, wait thirty minutes and eat again, I could have. Also, there were only two other tables occupied in the entire restaurant so we weren’t stopping anyone else from being seated. When we decided to leave she came over and began cleaning our table before we could stand up. In the process she slung something from the table and it almost hit my son. I immediately brought to her attention that I was not aware of the reason for her rude attitude but it would be wise of her to lose it before I gave her a reason to have one. She began speaking Chinese which let me know she wasn't saying anything nice so I gave her a lesson in English profanity. I approached the manager and informed him of the problem as well as the fact that I wasn’t going to pay. He attempted to explain to me that I had already eaten and should therefore pay my bill. I proceeded to inform him that if he wanted his money I suggest he take it out of his waitress’ paycheck because he would not be receiving a dime from me because I’m not giving money to be treated the way she treated me. He threatened to contact authorities and I stated that I would be right there waiting until they came. After he saw I wasn’t backing down he agreed not to charge me. I thanked him, advised him to have a meeting with his waitress, told him to attend classes himself on how to treat customers, and informed him that he never had to worry about me revisiting his restaurant. I don’t feel I could have done anything differently other than lower my voice because I was pretty loud. When it comes to my children there just aren’t any boundaries to me protecting them. I was upset that the manager actually tried to make me pay after his waitress acted in such a manner and I have been a loyal customer for years. He never apologized, didn’t offer a free meal on my next visit or anything. Maybe if the situation didn’t involve my child I wouldn’t have begun by getting so verbally aggressive. I may have just quoted a bible verse and told the waitress whatever she was going through would get better I’m sure.

Communication Assessments

Of all the three assessments, the only difference in how I evaluated myself and how one of the other communicators evaluated me was in the area of verbal aggressiveness. The score I received upon completing this assessment was 61which was moderate and stated that I maintain good balance between respect and consideration for others’ viewpoints, and the ability to argue fairly by attacking the facts of a position rather than the person holding that position. One of the other communicators gave me a score of 73 which was significant and stated with little provocation, you might cross the line from ‘argumentativeness’ which attacks a person’s position or statements, and verbal aggression, which involves personal attacks and can be hurtful to the listener. I can honestly say the description of “significant” sounds harsh but I am guilty of behaving in such a manner on occasion. It’s definitely not who I am consistently, but there have been times that I have allowed myself to go there. Mainly, in my past relationship and the person who gave me this score would definitely know that side of me. However, for the most part I agree that my verbal aggressiveness is moderate. I learned that I am a better listener than I thought I was as well as that I may need to investigate my verbal aggressiveness a bit more in my personal life.

Diversity in conversation

Yes, I definitely find myself communicating differently with people from different groups and cultures. I try to adapt my way of thinking and speaking depending on the specific individual I’m communicating with. My adaptation is determined by the other person’s background, socioeconomic status, education level, etc. I honestly don’t have any strategies I could use to help me communicate more effectively because I attempt to communicate effectively at present. Communicating differently doesn’t mean I’m not communicating effectively. I try to remain conscious of the different groups and their culture, hence changing the way I engage in the conversations to ensure I respect the person’s differences.......I would listen more (makng sure the speaker feels heard and understood), be aware of the emotions of the other person, and pay attention to nonverbal communicaton of the other person as well.

 

 

Communication Assumptions

The show I chose to watch is Love and Hip Hop Atlanta. I have heard about the show but have not had the opportunity to watch. I understand that this is actually the second season for the show. While watching the show with the volume turned down I was able to determine exactly what was going on because I can read lips. I observed a lot of animosity among the people as well as several  heated arguments. The only assumptions I made that were wrong were the relationships between some of the people on the show. It’s a reality tv show that follows several people and couples around Atlanta. It was hard to determine which of the groups of ladies were friends and which were not.  Once I watched the show with the volume turned up, of course I was surprised to see that several of the women who were having disagreements were actually considering themselves to be friends. My assumption would have most certainly been more accurate had I been watching a show I know well.

Competent Communication

The person I have chosen to discuss for this assignment is my dad. He exhibits competent communication every time we speak. Whenever I call and really need to talk to him about something, the first thing he does is makes the time to give me his undivided attention. If he is busy at the time of my call he will advise me to call him back at a certain time so that he can effectively communicate with me. He listens very attentively when I speak and often repeats what I say to ensure he has a good understanding of what I am saying or asking him. By listening to me, he determines whether I am seeking his advice, his opinion, his approval or disapproval, or simply an ear to vent in. After I speak he accommodates what I need. For example, if he can tell by what I say that I really don’t want him to solve my problem for me he will ask questions like “what do you think would be the best way to handle the situation?” or “ what makes you feel the way you fee?l” etc.,  and he eventually guides me to solve the problem on my own. He is successful because he listens. If he didn’t actively listen he would not understand what it is I need from him. I have been trying to model his way of communication for the last 3 months and I notice that with certain individuals it has been extremely helpful.